Rap entitled "Gerald's Rear-View Mirror"
Presented on the occasion of Gerald K. Dick's retirement celebration,August 16, 2001.
EnLIGHTenment will be CLEARer, NirVAna that much NEARer
When BYU drops OUT of VIEW in GERald's REAR-view MIRror.
Friends, the TOPic toDAY is GERald k. DICK
Who has STUCK with US through THIN and THICK
(Or... HAS been stuck with US through THICK and THIN),
But NOW his reTIREment CAN beGIN!
HE can asSIGN that last L.C. NUMbah,
And THEN waltz on OUT – or more ACCurately – RUMba.
EnLIGHTenment will be CLEARer, NirVAna that much NEARer
When BYU drops OUT of VIEW in GERald's REAR-view MIRror.
DeSPITE our inTELLigent and SMILing FAces,
DeSPITE our meTICulous and exEMPlary SOCial GRAces,
G. k. d. has CHOSen to LEAVE us ALL beHIND
To FIND those joys in LIFE that he STILL can FIND.
He's PACKin' in his BENefits just a LITtle bit EARly,
Yeah, NOW he disapPEARS,
To SPEND some private YEARS
BeFORE he raps upON those GATES – oh my – so PEARly.
EnLIGHTenment will be CLEARer, NirVAna that much NEARer
When BYU drops OUT of VIEW in GERald's REAR-view MIRror.
Now, GERald was BORN, I'm supPOSin' that you KNOW,
In the GEM state to the NORTH called ID-uh-HO.
It's BEEN a few years BACK that he WORE his baby DUDS
And first SAW the planet EARTH through the EYES of SPUDS.
His HOMEtown was called REXburg, its FENces made of PICKets,
But someHOW he aVOIDed that disEASE that we call RICKets.
EnLIGHTenment will be CLEARer, NirVAna that much NEARer
When BYU drops OUT of VIEW in GERald's REAR-view MIRror.
Now PAINT this in your MIND's eye, IF you CAN:
A young STUDent at the Y, wantin' to BE a MUSic man,
PRACticin' on the KEYboard for HOUR after HOUR
To GENerate some SERious MUSicological POWer.
Yeah, THAT was GERald from CHORuses to desCANTS,
And HE has since asSISTed with ORgan transPLANTS.
EnLIGHTenment will be CLEARer, NirVAna that much NEARer
When BYU drops OUT of VIEW in GERald's REAR-view MIRror.
GERald, now go POLish wooden HARPS with a CLOTH,
And prePARE to dust your ItALian acCORDions off!
DRESS your bod' in KILTS, ‘cause bein' SCOTtish ain't no SIN:
LIBerate your BAGgpipes, sir, and FILL them up with WIND.
YOU'LL have time to LEARN your SCORES by ROTE:
YOU'LL have time for MUSic: Isn't THAT a fine NOTE?
EnLIGHTenment will be CLEARer, NirVAna that much NEARer
When BYU drops OUT of VIEW in GERald's REAR-view MIRror.
G.k.D. stills DANCEs... to the TUNE of HIS own DRUMmer;
Since IMitatin' EVeryone ELSE would BE the ONLY thing DUMBer.
SomeHOW he has abSORBED the WISdom of the EAST,
Well, SLIGHTly east of PROvo at the VERy LEAST:
ReTIREment will mean EXtra time for WHAT the spirit imPINGEs,
ProVIDing opporTYUNities for MEDitative BINGes.
EnLIGHTenment will be CLEARer, NirVAna that much NEARer
When BYU drops OUT of VIEW in GERald's REAR-view MIRror.
HE shall cataLOG those BOOKS no MORE.
No MORE committee MEETings TO igNORE.
NO more filling IN of FIELDS that are FIXED,
NO more FIELDS that are VARiable or MIXED;
NO more cataLOGing fields of ANy KIND, it SEEMS,
For NOW his only FIELD will be a FIELD of DREAMS.
EnLIGHTenment will be CLEARer, NirVAna that much NEARer
When BYU drops OUT of VIEW in GERald's REAR-view MIRror.
So LONG now, GERald, we do HATE to see you GO...
But the OPP'site is not TRUE – that's the SAD scenarIO.
Just as YOU shall never MISS these OLD sixth FLOOR salt MINES,
ReMEMber those, who STILL enTRAPped withIN its dark conFINES,
Must DAIly labor FOR their GRUEL as you PLAY upon your SPINet.
Think MERCifully upON us – for apPROXimately HALF a MINute.
EnLIGHTenment will be CLEARer, NirVAna that much NEARer
When BYU drops OUT of VIEW
When BYU drops OUT of VIEW
When BYU drops OUT of VIEW
in GERald's REAR-view MIRror.
Dick Hacken,
August 2001