Dark Future
Or: The Night the Lights Go Out in Utah
Come December, please remember (or forget it if you can)
That the power grids will go on skids beneath an “upgrade plan.”
Yes, the intense dark will be quite stark, you see,
Taking away the meaning of life, my Wifi 2 and MP3.
Excess access will be cut down to a fault,
While library-type services come screeching to a halt.
They’ll turn off the zap at its central tap,
When this part of town has its power down in a rip-rap cybergap.
I thought we lived in the Land of the Free,
So why are they disconnecting me? (That’s a little freer than I want to be).
When I’m unwired,
It’s worse than being fired.
The library power is going down:
"Disempowerment" is the proper noun.
PC, USB, HP, LCD, IP, DVD, CD-ROM,
All of my gizmos are dead and gone.
They just won’t work; so I bid fond farewell
To the southernmost reaches of the HBLL.
As the Old Year flows out and the power goes out,
As the New Year rolls in, and it’s still dark about,
Where is my iPod, Izod, iTunes, iPhone?
I’m all alone
To quake and cower
Without my proper power ,
Without my Macintosh,
Oh my gosh,
Without my PC
To comfort me.
My speaker is mute,
And I can’t reboot.
The library power is going down:
"Disempowerment" is the proper noun.
PC, USB, HP, LCD, IP, DVD, CD-ROM,
All of my gizmos are dead and gone.
They just won’t work; so I bid fond farewell
To the southernmost reaches of the HBLL.
Who will protect us; where’s my surge protector?
I can’t even use an overhead projector.
Looking for books is very well and fine,
But how can I do it when the catalog’s offline?
My anti-glare flat screen
Won’t care and can’t be seen.
No laptop, no scanner, no LaserJet, no ScanJet.
Canon and Epson and HP will be out, you bet.
I’ll be workaholic with hands and ankles bound;
I’ll crave electricity, but it won’t be around.
With all the juice turned completely off,
I’ll be like a pig without his corn-filled trough.
The library power is going down:
"Disempowerment" is the proper noun.
PC, USB, HP, LCD, IP, DVD, CD-ROM,
All of my gizmos are dead and gone.
They just won’t work; so I bid fond farewell
To the southernmost reaches of the HBLL.
Forget about your Microsoft Outlook, Excel, PowerPoint, Word:
Without the power, what’s the point? It’s all absurd.
Acquisition Station is going on vacation
(A euphemism for its quick evacuation).
Forget about networks with old pals like Novell;
There’ll be log-in / log-out for zero personnel.
Gigabit, gigabyte, virus check, oh my heck:
Norton Symantec, looking like a train wreck.
Cables for modems and adapters for hubs
Will be just as effective as the… Chicago Cubs.
Broadband routers and Ethernet switches
Might as well be used for digging ditches.
The library power is going down:
"Disempowerment" is the proper noun.
PC, USB, HP, LCD, IP, DVD, CD-ROM,
All of my gizmos are dead and gone.
They just won’t work; so I bid fond farewell
To the southernmost reaches of the HBLL.
What about the data found in databases?
Where they once were will just be empty spaces.
Historical Abstracts and the MLA
Will have not a single word to say.
PCI, CRL and even Google Scholar
Will breathe their last in a deathly squalor.
Proquest , MedLine, Sirsi and JSTOR
WorldCat and ArtStor will be no more,
And just as surely as Houston is in Texas,
There’ll be a blow to LexisNexis in the solar plexus.
All these data have to go,
I’m telling you this for your Psych-Info.
The library power is going down:
"Disempowerment" is the proper noun.
PC, USB, HP, LCD, IP, DVD, CD-ROM,
All of my gizmos are dead and gone.
They just won’t work; so I bid fond farewell
To the southernmost reaches of the HBLL.
The internet servers will be dead, and how –
So tell us, Tricky Dicky, where’s the wacky wiki now?
Apple blog, pecan Log, Adobe Acrobat,
Samsung , Toshiba, Sony online chat;
Intel, Montel, trying to stay calm
Synching my Treo with Blackberry and Palm,
MacroMedia, Wikipedia, Blu-Ray DVR
Auf Wiedersehen, Arrivaderci and au revoir.
Vaio, Tivo, Java, lava, Zippy Dippy memory sticks:
None of them will store a thing using any tricks.
But maybe when the power comes back on alive,
There’ll be a little something left upon my memory drive.
The library power is going down:
"Disempowerment" is the proper noun.
PC, USB, HP, LCD, IP, DVD, CD-ROM,
All of my gizmos are dead and gone.
They just won’t work; so I bid fond farewell
To the southernmost reaches of the HBLL.
All this too
Could happen to you:
Before you see dear Santa Claus
There could be a power pause.
The advent of 2-zero-zero-8
Could make the future evaporate.
Happy New Year, take a break
From all the problems that computers make;
Give yourself a cyber-rest
Go ahead now, be my guest.
Don’t get depressed or go into rages,
Just pretend it’s the Middle Ages.
The library power is going down:
"Disempowerment" is the proper noun.
PC, USB, HP, LCD, IP, DVD, CD-ROM,
All of my gizmos are dead and gone.
They just won’t work; so I bid fond farewell
To the southernmost reaches of the HBLL.
Dick Hacken,
13 November 2007